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if you know me in real life, you know that i like for everything to happen at my house.  i love people, but i hate leaving my house.  i am thrilled to have guests--any number any time.  i adore my friends and am eternally grateful that they put up with this particular idiosyn-crazy.
lee puts up with it too, but he does leave the house sometimes.  good on him.

there are reasons.  possibly, mainly, that i am old and stuck in my ways...but also

• i am always always cold.  at other people's houses or public places, i can't control the temperature.  i know that i sit outside a lot, but i have on several pair of pajama pants and sweatshirts and blankets and occasionally a space heater.  outside.  don't judge. if i go out into the world, i have to wear real clothes which don't layer so easily.
• i drink diet coke IN CANS as if my life depends on it.  which it does.  i do carry them with me when i go places, but if i am there for any length of time, i inevitably run out.  and ftr, diet pepsi doesn't cut it.
• i like to be in control--obviously.  i want to turn up the heat if i want, grab a coke out of my own fridge, sit in my own chair.  which leads me to the weirdest reason
• i have space issues.  i can't really explain it, but where i am in a room is important to me.  i have had to have people change chairs with me.  basically, i have to feel secure.  it's not the "gotta watch who is coming in the door" thing.  it's a gut feeling i have about where i feel comfortable and secure.  chairs need to be squishy, and they need to have arms.  i need to be able to curl my legs up under me.  i need to have stuff surrounding me. i don't really get it, but i know it to be true.
• finally, i like my stuff.  my house is filled with interesting stuff--not just the regular interesting stuff, but antlers and skulls and rocks and sticks and leaves and cocoons and bird nests.  it makes me happy. not that other people's stuff isn't interesting.  but mine is more interesting.

all that said, there are two other places in that i feel good.  first, my in-laws house.  their couch will almost swallow you whole.  they always have diet coke.  they don't run the air all the time in the summer.  they build fires in the winter.  they may be the only people in the world that have more interesting stuff than me.  they don't say "it's not cold" when i am cold. (this is a phrase that infuriates me.  i am cold.  i didn't say "it" was cold.) they understand naps, and the need to leave the chaos and have a little privacy.  it's nice there.  i could live with them if they would let me have 5 cats in the house--which they probably would.

the other place is julie's house.  this is the only other house where i feel like i can do exactly what i want without asking first.  (though i don't mess with the thermostat.)  i do eat whatever i want and take whatever i want out of the fridge.  i have been known to drop by when she's not home to use her bathroom.  in the heyday of alcoholism and parties, i would run by and grab beers if i was out.  her barstools must have a print of my butt for the many hours i spent sitting there.  now she has A SOFA IN THE KITCHEN!!!!!  it's another swallow-you-whole sofa.

but best of all is julie.  if you know julie, you know what i mean.  she has this wonderful thing about her that makes you your best self.   second best of all--julie's kids.  i have known these kiddos since they were babies.  they are smart and easy going and loving and fun to be around.  lee still calls me hot wa wa sometimes.  kate called me wa wa for years.  it made me sad when she learned to pronounce her "l"s.  (i have some great stories about kate and will, but i won't tell them without their permission.)  will is the most curious person i know, and that is one of the most important character traits a person can have.  he will listen and discuss for hours--even as a kid bit he did this.  kate was once mean to me at the pool, and later called to apologize:  "i love you, wa wa, and i really love you."  that phrase will never leave my vocabulary.  i love you, kate, will, and julie, and i really love you.

well, what started out as a post about my crazies has ended up a sentimental post about my friend.  and that's okay.